There’s a peculiar detail in Genesis 29:20 that stops me in my tracks every time I read it: “So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.”
Seven years. Felt like a few days.
In our age of instant everything, where waiting three minutes for a text back feels like an eternity and engagement periods stretch our patience, this seems almost incomprehensible. What was happening during those seven years that made time collapse like that?
The Gift of Unhurried Discovery
The text doesn’t give us a detailed account of those years, but the outcome speaks volumes. When you love someone so deeply that seven years pass like days, you’re not just enduring the wait; you’re savoring something.
I imagine Jacob and Rachel didn’t simply mark time. They were building something. Here’s what those years might have held:
Learning her stories. Rachel grew up in Laban’s household, tending sheep in the fields of Paddan Aram. Jacob likely heard about her childhood, her relationship with her sister Leah, her dreams and disappointments. He learned the stories that shaped her, the memories that made her laugh, the losses that taught her resilience.
Sharing his journey. Rachel heard about Jacob’s complicated family – the brother he deceived, the father he fled from, the blessing that came at such a cost. She learned to understand the man beneath the shepherd, the weight he carried, the God who met him at Bethel.
Working side by side. They both tended flocks. Day after ordinary day, they shared the rhythm of work – the early mornings, the search for pasture, the protection of vulnerable lambs. They saw each other tired, frustrated, patient, and skilled. They discovered each other’s character in the unglamorous middle of daily life.
Observing in community. They lived within the social fabric of Laban’s household. Jacob saw how Rachel treated servants, how she responded to her father’s demands, how she handled tension with Leah. Rachel watched Jacob negotiate with Laban, handle conflict, keep his word even when it cost him.
Building friendship. Somewhere in those seven years, they became friends. Real friends. The kind who could sit in comfortable silence or talk for hours. Who knew each other’s quirks and inside jokes. Who’d seen each other’s worst moods and still showed up the next day.
What Made Time Fly
Here’s what I think happened: Jacob wasn’t gritting his teeth, white-knuckling his way through seven years of deprivation. He was genuinely enjoying Rachel’s company. Her mind engaged him. Her presence delighted him. Getting to know the depths of who she was proved endlessly fascinating.
Yes, he desired her physically – the text makes that clear. But that desire existed within a larger love, one that found satisfaction in conversation, in shared glances across a campfire, in the simple pleasure of being near someone whose soul resonated with his own.
The physical longing didn’t diminish the other joys; it deepened them. And those other joys made the waiting not just bearable, but strangely sweet.
A Different Kind of Courtship
Most modern couples can’t imagine – and don’t need – seven years of engagement. But we’ve perhaps swung too far in the other direction, racing from first date to physical intimacy, often bypassing the slow, rich work of actually knowing another person.
What if we reclaimed some of what Jacob and Rachel had?
Time to see character in action. Not just on dates, but in regular life. How does this person handle stress? Disappointment? Conflict with family? Success? Boredom?
Space to build friendship first. Can you talk for hours? Do you enjoy each other’s company when nothing exciting is happening? Do you make each other laugh?
Patience to share your whole stories. Not just the highlight reel, but the complicated parts. The family dynamics, the old wounds, the fears, the faith journey with all its questions.
Wisdom to let desire mature into love. Physical attraction is a gift, but it’s meant to grow within something larger – a love that delights in the other person’s existence, that wants to know and be known completely.
When Time Becomes a Gift
Jacob’s seven years didn’t feel short because he was distracted or in denial. They felt short because he was genuinely absorbed in the wonder of Rachel – who she was, how her mind worked, what made her laugh, what she cared about.
That’s the kind of courtship that builds a foundation for marriage. Not a frantic race to the altar driven by hormones and impatience, but a rich, unhurried exploration of another soul.
When you’re truly captivated by someone’s whole self – not just their body, but their mind, their spirit, their character – time does strange things. The waiting becomes part of the loving. And seven years can indeed feel like only a few days.
The question for us isn’t whether we need seven years. It’s whether we’re willing to take whatever time we do have and use it the way Jacob and Rachel did, to build something deep enough, rich enough, and real enough that it can sustain a lifetime together.
Because that kind of foundation? It’s worth waiting for.
***
a
a
One of the beautiful love stories in the Bible is the book of Ruth. I have retold the story in Ruth’s own words. You can read it in an ebook or listen to it on an audiobook. It’s a perfect fit for young girls beginning to dream about finding their own true love.
a
a
Here are links to my blog indexes, so please click one and keep reading!
My Books, Workbooks, and Fun Books
Knowing the Unknowable One
Opening the Treasure Chest
Walking Heart-to-Heart with God
Walking Heart-to-Heart with Each Other
Fighting the Good Fight of Faith
Christian Mysteries: Why I Love Them!
List of Some Nonfiction Books You Don’t Want to Miss
Index of Assorted Topics