Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Crime is Tamar Myers’ second book in her Pennsylvania Dutch Mystery series, set in Hernia Pennsylvania. (Yes, you read that right – the name of the town is Hernia.) In the first book, Too Many Crooks Spoil the Broth, Myers set the stage for hilarity by bringing deer hunters and animal rights activists together at the PennDutch Inn. In this second book, Hollywood comes to Hernia.
As you perhaps know already, Magdalena Yoder, the owner of the PennDutch Inn, is a Mennonite. The Mennonites are among those Christian groups sometimes referred to as “plain people.” They dress modestly and live simply. In all her 44 years, Magdalena has never seen a movie. Her television watching has been limited to “Green Acres” reruns.
But when an advance man from Reels and Runs Productions makes an offer she can’t refuse, Magdalena rents out her beloved inn to the movie crew. Obviously, the movie is going to be set in Amish/Mennonite country. Now, that sounds like a recipe for comedy – Hollywood types mixing with Mennonites. And I’m sure humor was Ms. Myers’ purpose.
Cheer Up Your Heart!
You may be thinking, “Why are we talking about comedy? I thought this book was a mystery.”
Well, the fact is that Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Crime is very funny. Magdalena, the first-person narrator can barely make a statement or generate a thought that doesn’t include a droll barb. At least, this is so when she is talking to or thinking about a character she doesn’t like or respect – and she seems to dislike or disrespect almost everyone. In some cases, like Freni, the inn’s cook, it’s not about disliking or disrespecting because Magdalena likes (usually) and needs Freni. Maybe, she just can’t break the habit of being amusingly cynical, satirical and insulting.
Now, you’re thinking, “Magdalena doesn’t sound like much of a heroine to me.” But she is – at least I like her, and I think you will too. And she is entertaining! Look at it this way – if nothing else, Magdalena is good for your health.
According to Proverbs 17:22, KJV, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” Now you don’t want dry bones, and Ms. Myers doesn’t want you to have dry bones. I’m sure that’s why she created Magdalena and sent her out into the world to improve our health.
Most of the other characters are just as fun and wacky as Magdalena herself. So, in most cases, you don’t need to worry about them. They can hold their own.
Oh, and to get back to your question, the story really is a mystery. Amidst all those one-liners and wisecracks, there is a victim and a crowd of suspects. So, on top of the clever banter, you’ll have the fun of playing “Who Dun It?”
The Plot
In Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Crime, we find a movie company taking over the PennDutch Inn. Filming has barely begun when Don Manley, the assistant director gets “forked.” That is to say, he is discovered, attached to a post in the barn with a pitchfork through his belly. Gruesome!
By the time Melvin Stoltzfus, the bumbling police chief, arrives, the pitchfork has disappeared. Stoltzfus talks to the cast and crew, then announces to Magdalena that she is his “suspecto numbero uno.” Zelda Root, the assistant chief, translates, “He means you’re our number one suspect.” It turns out that five people have reported to Stoltzfus and Root that Magdalena threatened the victim.
Put yourself in Magdalena’s place. If an incompetent police detective accused you of murder, what would you do? Wait for him to arrest you?
Not Magdalena! After all, she wouldn’t be able to do much to clear herself from a jail cell, would she? So, she makes it her mission to uncover the real murderer.
Plenty of Shady Characters
You’ll find all the suspects listed in the Character List below. But here’s a quick rundown of motives.
On the movie crew, Don Manley is not well-liked. Here are some of the issues:
• It turns out that he wrote the script, which is sleazy and ugly.
• He’s the nephew of the executive producer, giving him undue influence over the rest of the crew.
• It is rumored that Manley owed money to the syndicate, so perhaps a member of the crew is a hit man for the mob.
• One of the makeup girls is very pregnant with Manley’s baby, but she may not have been his only paramour.
• And, of course, now that he’s dead, Manley will have to be replaced. Perhaps, the new assistant director wanted the job real bad.
Now let’s consider some evidence that Hernia citizens might have had a motive to murder Manley:
• Manley’s attitude toward the Hernia folks is insulting – he refers to them as “a bunch of losers,” “pathetic,” and “scum.”
• Little Sherri Hall annoys Darla Strutt, the actress, so Manley fires Sherri.
• The script is nasty, and the honorable, small-town folks are expected to play sordid roles.
• After the assistant director is dead and Magdalena is trying to unearth the killer, here are a couple of quotes that demonstrate the town’s assessment of the dead man – he was “a rude, arrogant bore,” and he was “a slimy, evil snake from hell.”
Okay, there you have the motives. Assistant Director Manley is rude, crude, arrogant, and autocratic. People are merely pawns to him, and he doesn’t care who knows it. Who wouldn’t want to kill him?
Character List
This list carefully avoids spoilers. Names and descriptions below reflect the original information given about each character. Main characters are listed, along with some minor players.
PennDutch Inn RegularsMagdalena Yoder – A 44 year-old Mennonite woman, who owns controlling interest in the PennDutch Inn until Susannah proves herself “competent and productive.” Then they will be equal partners
Susannah Yoder Entwhistle – Magdalena’s 34-year-old sister. She ran off and married a Presbyterian, Maurice Entwhistle, after the death of her parents. Now divorced, she is lazy and irresponsible. She billows when she walks because she drapes herself in “enough fabric to clothe a small third-world country.”
Papa and Mama Yoder, deceased – The parents of Magdalena and Susannah died 11 years earlier in a highway smash-up, their vehicle being sandwiched between a truck full of running shoes and a tanker full of milk. Previously Mr. Yoder had been a dairy man and Mrs. Yoder sold eggs. They may have already passed on to Glory, but you’ll hear about them, especially Mama.
Mose Hostetler – 74 years old, a kinsman and handyman for the inn – Amish instead of Mennonite
Freni Hostetler – 73 years old, Mose’s wife – the crotchety cook for the PennDutch Inn
PennDutch AnimalsShnookums – Susannah’s tiny dog
Pertelote – Magdalena’s boldest hen, a Rhode Island Red
Matilda and Bertha (aka Bessie) – milk cows
Movie Staff - Reels and Runs Productions:1 Steve Freeman (Bugsy) – advance man – made the arrangements for renting the PennDutch Inn
2 Arthur Lapata – director – tall, but stooped
3 Donald Manley – assistant director and scriptwriter – short and hairy – nephew of George P. Manley, the executive producer
4 Darla Strutt – actress – aka Rambling Rhonda, the movie industry’s code name for Darla – like Susannah, Darla wears yards of flowing fabric
Fifi – Darla’s tiny dog
5 Rip Oilman – actor
6 Al – cameraman
7 Heather – makeup girl – very pregnant with Don Manley’s child
8 Roger – sound technician
9 Andrea – prop manager
Hernia residents involved in the movie:1 Norah Hall – Hernia’s town gossip – determined to make sure her daughter is cast in the movie
2 Sherri Hall – Norah’s daughter, about 12 years old
3 Martha Sims – Presbyterian pastor’s wife – hoping for a part in the movie
4 Orlando Sims – Martha’s husband – Presbyterian pastor who, years ago, married Susannah to a member of his church
5 Biddle sisters – Cindy and Nadine – high school girls – “good-looking bimbo types for dressing”
Miscellaneous OthersMelvin Stoltzfus – Chief of Police – has been dating Susannah for about a year
Zelda Root – assistant police chief
John Hostetler – Mose and Freni’s son who now runs their farm while they work for Magdalena
Barbara Hostetler – John’s wife – 6 feet tall – always at odds with Freni
Jim (Jumbo) Fortuna – owner of Jumbo Jim’s Fried Chicken and Seafood Palace in Baltimore
Reverend Gingerich – pastor of Magdalena’s Mennonite church
Helen Gingerich – the pastor’s wife
Samuel Nevin Yoder – owner of Yoder’s Corner Market – a relative of Magdalena’s father
Doc Shafer – octogenarian veterinarian who’s sweet on Magdalena
Roy Miller – owner of Miller Feed Store
Elspeth Rhinehart Miller – Roy’s wife
Aaron Miller – a neighbor of the PennDutch Inn – 78 years old and currently recovering from a fall
Aaron Miller, Jr. – son of the above
Recipes
The book includes these recipes:
• Freni Hostetler’s Shoofly Pie
• Grandma Yoder’s Secret Corn Chowder
• Doc Shafer’s Green-Tomato Pie
• Freni’s Super-Duper Company Meat Loaf
• Freni Hostetler’s Version of Beef Yum Yai (Thai cold beef salad)
• Freni Hostetler’s Rendition of Tom Yam Goonk
• Magdalena’s Peanut Butter Apple Cake
Here’s a link to Tamar Myers’ Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Crime.
Here’s a link to my review of Too Many Crooks Spoil the Broth, the first book in the Pennsylvania Dutch Mystery series. If you haven’t read it yet, you’re missing another laugh riot.
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Here are links to my blog indexes, which will make it quick and easy for you to find another post to read.
Blog Index – Lists blogs 1-35
Blog Index 2 – Lists blogs 36 to the latest post
Here’s a downloadable character list: