Have you ever prayed your heart out for some dream? Have you ever wanted something so desperately, you thought you would die if you couldn’t achieve it?
But it never happened.
Have you ever prayed urgently and earnestly for someone with cancer? Was it someone so good and godly you were sure the Lord would hear and heal this dear saint?
But the person died in weakness and pain.
Have you ever prayed for someone to be born again? Was it someone you loved so deeply you didn’t want to be in Heaven one day if this precious loved one couldn’t be there with you?
But the person resolutely resisted God’s gift of salvation all their life.
Chances are, you’ve had some version of all these experiences. Are you beginning to wonder, “What’s prayer for, anyway?”
Perhaps, it’s a simplistic answer, but here are three reasons I can think of for prayer:
1 To ask God to act
2 To enlighten us
3 To deepen our relationship with God
Let’s consider these three reasons.
1. Asking God to Act
Our desire to – shall we say – “influence Providence” is unquestionably valid. For example, James, the brother of Jesus, definitely believed in asking God to move in our behalf. He said things like, “You have not because you ask not” (James 4:2) and “The prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well” (James 5:15) and “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16)
Jesus said, “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11, NIV)
Hebrews 4:16 tells us to come boldly to God’s throne when we need mercy and grace to help in our time of need.
Let’s look at some occasions in the Bible where someone prayed and received what they were praying for.
Examples of “Yes” Answers to Prayer* King Hezekiah was on his deathbed. The prophet Isaiah actually came to him and said, “Put your house in order because you are going to die.” When the prophet left, King Hezekiah prayed urgently, asking God to heal him. Before Isaiah had even gotten off the palace grounds, the Lord told him to go back and tell Hezekiah he wasn’t going to die after all. He would live another 15 years. And listen to this – the Lord gave Hezekiah a miraculous sign to prove he would live another 15 years! (2 Kings 20:1-11)
* A Hebrew woman from the tribe of Ephraim was barren. She desperately wanted a child and prayed earnestly for the Lord to grant her request. She even promised God that if He gave her a child, she would give the child to the Lord. God heard her prayer and granted her request. She gave birth to the beloved judge and prophet, Samuel. And true to her word, she took Samuel to the Temple to be raised by Eli, the priest, in the service of God. Then the Lord gave her three more sons and two daughters. (I Samuel 1:1-2:21)
* In Acts 12, we read about life in Jerusalem in the years after Jesus had ascended to Heaven. King Herod executed James, the brother of the beloved apostle John. Seeing that this act had made him popular with the Jews, he put the apostle Peter in prison, planning to put him on public trial after the Passover celebration. Just to make sure Peter didn’t escape, Herod assigned 16 soldiers to guard him. Meanwhile, the church was praying earnestly for Peter’s deliverance. And God answered their prayer. He sent an angel to escort Peter out of prison and into the town, where he was reunited with the band of prayer warriors. (Acts 12:1-19)
As for answered prayer in modern days, I suggest that you look back over your life. If you are one of those organized people who list prayers and the time when they were answered, I bet you have pages and pages of occasions when God said, “Yes!” to your prayer requests. Unfortunately, for those of us who don’t document our prayers and their answers, we probably remember the “No” answers better than the yeses. But we’ve all had “Yes” answers to prayer. Dozens of them. Hundreds. Maybe even thousands!
2. Prayer Enlightens the Pray-er
Okay, I think those Scriptures and those examples make it clear that our prayers reach God. BUT I’m not convinced that “getting our way,” so to speak, is the main reason we should pray.
I have the vaguest memory of reading a dystopian novel 55-60 years ago in which an evil government forced the placement of plaques reading, “Things change prayer.” Of course, that saying was meant to be a mockery of God and the familiar axiom “Prayer changes things.” But I remember brooding over the idea that “Things change prayer,” and I began to wonder if it might be just as true as “Prayer changes things.” 1
I think it was those musings that put me on the track of the notion that maybe God’s response to some of my prayers – which is to say, His “No” response – might be enlightening me.
Practically speaking, sometimes we pray for days, months, or even years, and God never makes a move to change the situation. Although I think it’s okay to keep praying for the desired result in those cases, I think we should also begin asking, “Lord, why don’t You answer my prayer? What are you trying to teach me?”
Perhaps, self-discovery will reveal one or more of the following:
a Unconfessed sin (Psalm 66:18; Isaiah 59:2)
b Selfish motives (James 4:3)
c Unforgiveness (Mark 11:25)
d Doubt (Matthew 17:19-20; James 1:6-8)
e Disobedience (Proverbs 28:9)
f Marital strife (I Peter 3:7)
g Not abiding in Jesus (John 15:7)
And we must always consider that God’s “No” may protect us from some kind of harm. Or His plan may be infinitely superior to our own program. Or the timing may simply be wrong – give it time and “No,” may change to “Yes.”
A couple more thoughts occur to me. First, consider parents who never say “No” to their children. We all know they’re raising spoiled brats, not responsible citizens. Isn’t it possible that if God answered “Yes” to our every whim, He would have a church full of spoiled brats? Second, if God were a cosmic Genie, selfish, manipulative people would follow Him just to get on the gravy train. The Lord is seeking followers of a very different nature, those who love Him and worship Him in spirit and in truth
Examples of “No” Answers to Prayer
* When the Israelites were traveling from Egypt to their Promised Land, they came to the country of Moab. The Moabites were terrified of them, and Balak, their king sent for a prophet named Balaam to curse Israel. The king offered Balaam a lot of money, and Balaam couldn’t wait to get his hands on it. But God wouldn’t let Balaam curse Israel, even though Balaam asked repeatedly. If you know the story, you know Balaam never bothered to ask, “Lord what are You trying to teach me?” As a result, he has gone down in history as a loser and a fiend. (Numbers 22-24)
* The Apostle Paul was afflicted with what he called a “thorn in the flesh.” He asked God three times to remove it, and the Lord said “No.” This man who had performed spectacular miracles, even raising the dead, couldn’t get a healing for himself. He obviously asked the Lord what he was supposed to learn from those “No” answers, because he reported that the purpose of the thorn was to keep him humble and dependent on God’s grace. (II Corinthians 12:7-10)
* King David, who loved the Lord deeply, longed to build a Temple in His honor. But God said “No.” The privilege of building a house to glorify God would go to David’s son Solomon. The reason? David was a man of war and had shed blood. (I Chronicles 28:2-6) Now what was David supposed to learn from that? He couldn’t go back in time and undo anything he had done. It seems to me that David’s best choice was to praise God and rejoice that a Temple would be built and that it would be his son who built it.
3. Our Relationship with God
Here’s where I believe we’ll find the answer – dare I say the “ultimate” answer? – to our question.
What’s prayer for? To draw us into a warm, loving, worshipful relationship with Almighty God. Each of us. One by one. Loving and walking daily with God.
I have a lot to say on this subject, which is why I wrote a 7-blog series, exploring our exquisite privilege of being in relationship with the Creator and Sustainer of the universe. The first blog in the series is “A Precious Promise: God’s Greatest Gift.”
I hope you’ll read some or all of those blogs. But I don’t want to repeat myself here, so I Googled, “characteristics of a healthy relationship.” The result, of course, referred to human-with-human relationships. But I think we can gain some insights by using the creative side of our brain to apply these qualities to our relationship with God:
∙ Mutual Respect: Partners value each other’s beliefs, boundaries, and identities, and they support each other’s dreams and goals.
∙ Trust: There is a sense of security and reliance on each other, with partners feeling they can be open about their thoughts and feelings without fear of negative judgment.
∙ Open and Honest Communication: Partners can express their feelings and opinions openly and honestly, creating a safe space for discussions and for addressing conflicts without hostility.
∙ Independence and Individuality: Both partners maintain their own identities, friendships, and interests while also nurturing the relationship.
∙ Support and Encouragement: Partners offer each other support, encouragement, and empathy, and are interested in and celebrate each other’s passions and pursuits.
∙ Balance and Equality: Power is balanced, and decisions are shared. There is a healthy blend of togetherness and individuality.
∙ Healthy Conflict Resolution: Disagreements are handled with care rather than hostility, involving understanding, forgiveness, and compromise.
∙ Healthy Boundaries: Partners respect each other’s personal space and limits, giving one another time and space to process emotions.
∙ Affection and Intimacy: Relationships are characterized by love, compassion, and intimacy, and are expressed through kind gestures and gratitude.
∙ Shared Joy and Friendship: Partners enjoy each other’s company, share interests, and can have fun together.
Obviously, our relationship with God will never be equal – His holiness, wisdom, and power infinitely outshine us. Even so, we have to admit that, ever since Eden, the Omnipotent Creator of the world has fulfilled His role as a generous, loving partner whenever a man or woman has desired to know Him.
So, what’s prayer for? Maybe it’s the give-and-take in our relationship with Almighty God that helps us learn more about Him, more about ourselves, and more about how we can grow increasingly generous and loving in our fellowship with Him.
***
1 By the way, if you know what the novel was, please leave a comment below. I can’t find an AI that can tell me where the “Things change prayer” saying came from. So now, I’m starting to wonder if I dreamed it.
Here are links to my blog indexes, so please click one and keep reading!
My Books, Workbooks, and Fun Books
Knowing the Unknowable One
Opening the Treasure Chest
Walking Heart-to-Heart with God
Walking Heart-to-Heart with Each Other
Fighting the Good Fight of Faith
Christian Mysteries: Why I Love Them!
List of Some Nonfiction Books You Don’t Want to Miss
Index of Assorted Topics